Bella Swan = Me ??

Okay, before you go and freak out about the title, let me explain. Everyday I have more and more people come up to me and say, "You remind me of Bella Swan from Twilight, the way I imagined her." And what girl wouldn't want to get that remark from people? Honestly? Every girl who reads that book puts themselves in her shoes and feels like she's Bella. I do that with every book I read, but I never expected other people to tell me that I am her. Never. So I wanted your opinion. What do you think? I'll post a few pictures, some are a little bad I know.

When Life Throws You Lemons...

When life throws you lemons...sit down and cry, baby, because you don't know what else to do. Well, life didn't throw me a lemon...it threw a COW! And it hurt, badly. Life sucks and don't let anyone else tell you differently. Seriously.

Banquet is May 2 and I need to lose weight. Stupid dress shrunk...not really I just got fatter and now the seems are buldgin. Oops. :) Anyway, I have to go to the seamstress Friday and figure out what material to buy to fix the back on my dress because...well there isn't one and there has to be one for my school's requirements and I need to get straps too...yeah, gotta do that.

Lets see...what else is going wrong? Oh, my bff Lauren's birthday was today! She's seventeen now. She's all excited because she can legally go see rated R movies now.

I probably will have a party Friday. That will be fun and hopefully cheer me up some, cause the Lord knows I need it!

I don't know much else. Just thought it was about time to post something. :\
Until the aliens come,
Ryann

Poetry

I really don't understand poetry at all and we're studying it in Advanced English. I struggle with it so much, and it doesn't help that I have a teacher who has no idea what she's doing. It drives me mad! But this Sonnet by Edna St. Vincent Millay caught my attention.

This beast that rends me in the sight of all,

This love, this longing, this oblivious thing,

That has me under as the last leaves fall,

Will glut, will sicken, will be gone by spring.

The wound will heal, the fever will abate,

The knotted hurt will slacken in the breast;

I shall forget before the flickers mate

Your look that is today my east and west.

Unscathed, however, from a claw so deep

Though I should love again I shall not go;

Along my body, waking while I sleep,

Sharp to the kiss, cold to the hand as snow,

The scar of this encounter like a sword

Will lie between me and my troubled lord.

It hits home for me. Anyway, Atlanta was a blast! I had so much fun witnessing! Although I didn't do too much of the sort. I mainly watched people. I like observing things...I'm a writer; it's what I do best. However, I did meet this little kid named Robert. He's so adorable! It broke my heart knowing that there was nothing I could do more to help him and his family. I just love little kids dearly and it tore me up!

Pastor Kurt was amazing as well. We were his last group before he left to go somewhere else. I loved him. He had so much to say and I would have loved to have stayed and listened to him and to have learned from him, but our time was too short unfortunately.

The Tornado was two blocks from our motel, and I didn't even know it until the next morning. We were downstairs having devotions in the laundry room when I heard the sirens. I didn't know what it was and paid little mind to it, but then one of the security guards came up to us and told us that it was a tornado warning. So we all trudged back to our rooms and went to bed. I was just thinking : No big deal; just a warning. I'm not really scared of tornadoes because I'm used to them. I didn't know that one actually touched down until the morning when my room mates were freaking out. But you know, I have been in a tornado before and I'm still here. If the Lord says it's my time to go, I'm going. No if and's but's or why's. It's not up to me. The Lord will protect me until he says I'm ready to go and I'm content with that. I trust him.

Oh! Celebrate Life! Yes, well I did very well. My writing received a point below a perfect score. The judge said I needed more sensory details. Okay...anyway, I received a trophy for that. Amazing, my first trophy is in writing, not music...I think this is a sign. Moving on: and my picture received an "Excellent" which is second place. I was really pleased with my outcomes, and my pastor's wife, Becky, said she was really proud of me. :)

That's all I have to say for now. So until next time:

Au Revoir,

Ryann

Game Day

I am bored to death. I just got back from Game night at Scott and Lori's house. It was fun. We played several games like zombie flux, some other games I wasn't involved in, and Guitar Hero II and III. It was a blast. My sister and I played on the multi-player option and let me tell you...it's worth buying two guitars! It was so much fun!! And it gave us what we needed to get our minds away from school related activites and what our family is going through. Although there was still some tension because my dad came with us. I don't know how that will work in the future though.

Anyway, enough of this boring drawl. What else can I say? Celebrate Life (talent contest in the Nazarene church) is coming up soon, but I won't be able to attened it this year because I will be gone in Atlanta on a missions trip with my class. So instead, Becky will be submitting my writings and possibly some photographs for me. :) I love that woman!

I will not talk about school stuff because I don't want to think about that at the moment. I have so much to deal with right now that I need to slow down and just breathe! For anyone who actually takes the time to read this stupid thing, please pray for my family. We need all the prayers we can get, and the Lord will help us, but it would be nice to know that random people all over the world are praying specifically for us. :)

Well it's close to midnight and my internet will be cut off soon so I better go. I hope you have a blessed day!


-Ryann

Yup

So life so far has been as it always has, it's just gone up a level in difficulty. No big...for some. I've not studied for any of my finals, which were all this week and I've got one last one tomorrow: Spanish. And I'm refusing to study for it even though I'm not going to be able to read it. Hopefully it will be mostly mulitple choice and I can just B.S. my way through it like I have on all my exams this week. I just didn't feel like studied over Christmas break so I didn't.

Anyway, enough about school. How's life treating you? Good? Well, good for you! I'm glad. :) At least I know one person is happy out there...at this exact moment. Have you ever wondered how many emotions are portrayed per minute all over the world? I haven't either; just thought I would ask.

So I find out that a friend of mine is joining the Air Force last night. He didn't even bother to tell me personally! How great huh? Well he was going to join the army then backed down, then he wanted to be a bar tender, then he wanted to be a cop and then as of last week he was back tot he bar tender, but noooo I find out from a mutual friend that he's going into the Air Force! I'm not saying that's a bad thing. I think the army would do him some good, but I would have liked to have been informed of this from himself instead of someone else. That made me angry. And I'm also scared for him. He needs so much help. :(

Well, I really should at least look over some of this stuff. I'll post more later.
-Ryann

One more thing

Oh, yeah. And I believe Harry's scar is a horcrux. And I still haven't finished the book. I just haven't had the time to sit and read this summer. :( Well I'm off to work...then choir camp! I'll try to update soon!

-Ryann

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

I just received my book in the mail today. I've read the first few chapter but I've had this thought mulling in my mind since I talk with my dad yesterday about Harry Potter and what would happen in the last book. So I wanted to write it down or tell someone...yeah...about it before I finished the book, just in case I'm actually right for once (hah!). Anyway I promise you that I haven't read the back of the book or anything. I'm actually on page 90 in the U.S. Edition if that tells you anything. I believe that Dumbledore is still alive, because, as we saw in the Order of the Phoenix, Dumbledore himself turned into a phoniex and vanished. And as we all know, phoenixes are reborn from their ashes. So if Dumbledore is a phoenix or can turn into one, who's to say that he can't still be alive?? And Dumbledore always trusted Snape and repeatedly made that clear, so if he's still alive, who's to say that Snape is bad? Basically it falls out like this: Dumbledore is still alive, and Snape is good. That is what I believe. Now whether it's true or not, I've yet to find out. I'm a slow reader and I'm going on vaction soon so hopefully I'll be done by next week...hopefully.
-Ryann

B-Day

Hey! I would have posted yesterday, but I had a major bio test to study for and I didn't have time. So I'm a day late. :( Oh well. Yesterday was Lauren's sweet 16 birthday!!! I wish her all the happiness in the world, and to get a car so we can go places together...since I'm not getting a car...for a long time.

Icons

I'm posting icons up because I feel like it and I really don't have anything to say at the moment and I wanted to post something. Yeah.

TNT

Yesterday was the kids' TNT contest and they did spectacularly! The bells one a blue ribbion which is equivalent to a 1st, but they don't give out positions like that at these talent contests. And many of their art works were awesome! There were only a few who didn't place what they should have because of some stupid miscellanous rule. Next week is Celebrate Life and I'm nervous. I practiced my song like crazy since I've recieved it, and I finally got it down yesterday, but that's no guarentee I'll be able to play it perfect again at the contest, or for the offertory on Sunday morning. Becky's making me play and sing in our trio for a special. And I have 3 papers due soon, Bible reading and a survey due tomorrow, and a test Tuesday, so I need to go and take my shower so I can finish my homework. Hope you guys had a great weekend and I hope you have a great rest of the week!
-Ryann

B-Day

Today is Bekah's 16th b-day!! Yay! Happy Birthday Bekah. I wish you a great year (but of course it will be since we are going to England in 97 days!!!). Just thought I'd tell you all and be on my way to do some homework before church.
~Ryann

Just Shoot Me Now

Okay. So I have this Celebrate Life thing coming up in 4 weeks. And I'm in now way shape or form ready for it. I still suck at my song and I just got it two weeks ago or something like that. There's no way I'll have time to perfect it. I'm stressing out over that...not to mention the Algebra I have to make up for Thursday. Today and tomorrow are Spiritual Emphasis days. Therefore I don't have to worry about homework for each day, just Monday's assignments. And it's so overwhelming!!! I'm going to have a heart attack. I think it would just be easier on me if someone just shot me now, because I wouldn't have to worry about finishing my homework or perfecting my piano solo or anything else. I'd be in heaven celebrating. *sigh* But I doubt that's going to happen so I really need to do some of my Algebra homework.
Toddles,
Ryann

Ha!

This is the best week ever!! It's like it's Christmas break all over again. We've had 2 days of no school because of the snow and tomorrow we won't have school either! This is great! The only bad thing is that we will have to make up two days.
:( But at least we get a break right now. Hopefully I'll be able to write a ton today. *crosses fingers*
Well go to go write,
Ryann

Lying

Don't you hate it when someone lies to you? But what if it was your best friend? Imagine that it is you that your best friend is lying too. How does that make you feel? Are you in utter agony? Are you extremely hurt and dumbfounded? Can you even think of why they would lie to you? I mean they've been your best friend for three years now (or longer). Well, I just found out today that my best friend has lied to me. For how long, I don't know. But I found out that she thought it was funny how I supposively "freaked" out when she mentioned someone's name. I only told her to stop because he really doesn't like me. And then she said that she knew who he did like, but she won't tell me. And I'm the kind of person who needs to know things, no matter how petty they are, or I go insane. And she said that she couldn't tell me for some unknown reason. But today she just told me that she didn't know and that she was just playing around with me. Yet, not two minutes later she said that she couldn't tell me who he liked...again. After I asked why she wouldn't tell me what she was told. Now it's just a big mess and I'm very upset. I can't concentrate on my homework anymore. I'm crying as I type this because I can't even begin to describe the pain she has caused me. I trusted her. Now I can trust no one...although I was ever reluctant to trust anyone, but she taught me how to trust. Therefore, I can't trust anyone anymore.
I'm crushed. I've told her some of my darkest secrets and now I regret that I ever did. I'm just thankful that I didn't tell her all of them. She's really broken my heart. I feel abandoned and alone.
On a more happier note, THE COLTS WON!!!!!!!! I am happy about that. So how's you're life going? Any troubles that you're going through? Anyone you want to vent about? Need some advice? I don't know. I'm desperate to talk to anyone right now. I'll give some advice to anyone who needs it (if I can). I like doing that, why, don't aske me, I just do. Well...I hope the Colts have another great season (early I know)!

Spirit day

SUPERBOWL!!!!!!!!!!

We're going to the Superbowl!!! We're going to the Superbowl!!! I'm soo excited. I'm never gonna get to sleep now! Colts won 38 to 34. We're going to the Superbowl!!! I get a Diet Pepsi...I get a Diet Pepsi!! YYYYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!

License

Well...I passed. Again with flying colors. I now have my license. Yeah...I suppose. I sounded very enthusiastic I know. Just thought I'd update you before I went to the funerl for my cousin Daniel. His daughter Cassie (not very old 5ish) kept picking up the cell phone waiting on her daddy to call her from heaven. It's very sad. And Daniel's sister, Stacy, has Austism and they took her up to see Daniel when I was there. She kept backing away. I don't know if she just didn't understand or if she just doesn't want to accept it. It's very difficult to tell. It has just been an aweful week.
-Ryann

cool picture

I received this in an e-mail. It's very cool.

Death

Okay, so I find out that my second cousin died Monday and now I find out that an elderly person (whom I was very close to) at my church died. Who else wants to die? Geez. That didn't come out right but you know what I mean. I'm having a crappy week. Now off to homework...and piano.
-Ryann

Test

I passed with flying colors!!! Yay! Now all that's left is to pass the written test next week. So I need to get busy re-reading my driver's manual. Anyway, the big Colts vs. Ravens game is today and my dad is having a big party at our house. I really don't want to have the party yet I do. I don't want it because then I could read over my manual and have time to watch the game in peace, yet I do want the party because I get to see my little cousins and my family and have a great time, but absolutely no time to myself. I'm not a very social person and I try to avoid that kind of stuff if at all possible. But when it's at our house, I have to show my face. Well I'm going to go study while I can.
-Ryann